Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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