brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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