i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
