Your dad touched me again.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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