It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
time to smoke my breakfast
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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