I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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