After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize