At least make sure they are 18
Why
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
