end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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