I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
