He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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