sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
