i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
