wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
