You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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