she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize