She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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