Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
