i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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