Banned from zoo.
Again?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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