well you can't waste a boner
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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