I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
