I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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