I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
