yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
