i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
