Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
