you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
