Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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