My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize