seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
