you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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