he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
