I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
