she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
And then he peed in my hair
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