I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
