She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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