those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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