Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
