Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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