He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
