apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Randomize
