I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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