and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
