why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
