five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
this will be a night to untag.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
