i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
