Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
