Screwed.edu
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
