Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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