Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize