didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
