The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
