I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
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