is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
