Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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