Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Don't tell me you're on acid again
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
