So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Randomize