there's paper in my vomit.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
