Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
