We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
