do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize