I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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