Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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