see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize