I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize