i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
