K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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