im six kinds of drunk right now
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
