I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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